Monday, November 17, 2014

Positive Affirmations

Our inner self-talk determines how we look at the possibilities in our world.   When we purposefully create positive affirmations we increase self-esteem.  To create healthier self-esteem we need to change our inner self-talk.  Positive affirmations are nothing more than messages we say over and over to ourselves until our mind, body and spirit accept the new message.   Here are a few guidelines in creating positive affirmations.

The affirmation must be positive.  I know some of you are thinking “duh” but when working with clients you would be surprised how often self-limiting thoughts creep up.

The intent of the affirmation must be based in love and light.  Some of us are so entrenched in our negative thoughts we don’t even realize it.

The affirmation must be said with conviction.  If you don’t believe the affirmation just keep saying it until it becomes real for you.  When I stopped smoking my affirmation was "I feel the joy of being a non-smoker".   At first, when I said the affirmation I would laugh out loud.  I could not see the joy of giving up cigarettes.   But I kept repeating my affirmation with conviction and within 21 days I stopped smoking and felt the joy of being a non-smoker.

The affirmation must be said in the present tense.  It’s all about the power of now!

The affirmation must be possible.  This is the tricky part of any affirmation.  Is it possible to walk again after a spinal cord injury?  Yes.  Remember, there is a fine line between miracles and acceptance.

The affirmation must be personal.  You cannot control others.  So, an affirmation that your son has moved out (present tense) might not work.

The affirmation must be said or written 10 times a day for 21 days.  Yep, it has to sink into your beautiful brain.

So how do you know what affirmation to work on first to build self-esteem?  Well, that is simple.  You will need a piece of paper, pen and a mirror.  Look in the mirror and write down everything negative you see.  The reason I suggest this is because we are wired to see the negative.  Yep, we can spot the negatives quicker than Sherman burned Atlanta.

I am holding my mirror and here is what I see that is negative:  wrinkles, age spots and grey hairs.  Just so you know we are harder on ourselves than anyone else.  In other words, most people would need to hold me down and look for a grey hair before they found one.  Next, write down the words you associate with what you see in the mirror.  My words are old and ugly.  Now, it is time for some magic.  Think opposites.  The opposite of old and ugly is young and beautiful.  If your inner voice gives you a tug and screams the opposites are not true then you know you are on the right track.  Now, it is time for some positive affirmations that build your self-esteem.

I am aging gracefully.
I am young at heart and beautiful.
Grey is the new blond.

These new thoughts feel much better in my soul than old, ugly and wrinkly.  And you know what?  I get to choose my thoughts.  So do you.   
Play Well and visit me at


Every personality test I have taken revels one consist trait.  I can fix just about anything.  As a child the adults in my life recognized this incredible gift but would dismiss it because I was a girl.  I will admit being raised in a Southern household my mother was a wee bit perplexed on how her daughter could re-wire an electrical fan, fix broken radios, TV’s, dishwashers and even cars.  I have always known how to fix stuff.  I believe fixing stuff requires a creative spirit.  You have to be willing to try all kinds of new approaches for the fixing to happen. 

Now, as a life coach I can’t fix people.  That would suggest that my clients are “broken” and I believe that very few people are broken.  I might have clients that are bent but bent and broken are not the same thing.  I also believe that no one can fix your problems and challenges except for you.  I would also suggest that sometimes what we perceive needs to be fixed doesn’t.  It is in your life to teach you and to grow you.  It might suck but it is part of your path. 

How does all this help my clients?  First, I help bring clarity to the situation.  I can help you figure out what really needs to be fixed and what doesn’t.  Second, I partner with you to brainstorm ideas on how to fix the problem or challenge.  Third, I bring creativity to the table so that we can look at all kinds of new approaches for the fixing to happen.

So, what do you need to fix?  What could be better in your life? 

Play Well,

Monday, November 10, 2014

Creative Chaos

I am a creativity coach who works with people who are VERY creative and resourceful.  That doesn’t mean that the creative process comes easily for them or even for me.  Why?  Because we don’t embrace or plan for creative chaos.  You know creative chaos….roadblocks, things not working out, can’t get the project out of the mind and into the world.  This is how we think our creative project will go.  The process will smoothly go from A to B. 


Sure.  We expect a little bumpiness in the process.  But for the most part we think it will be linear.  We will start, create and finish our project.  I am a lifelong artist and magical creator and even I get sucked up in the linear trap.  I think that this creative project will somehow be magically different.  It won’t take me very long to go from point A to point B and whip out my Picasso inspired painting.  But in reality, this is what happens.

And it happens every single time.  Like a lot of creative people I get frustrated, cranky, petty and can pitch a fit better than a toddler.  It’s hard.  Why?  Why?  Why?  Because creative chaos is a major player in the creative process.  Here are three things I have learned about creative chaos.

1. DON’T fight the Chaos.  It might sounds counterproductive, but when we fight the chaos we lose our creative edge.  Because the chaos also brings the opportunity for lots and lots of possibilities and connections.  That is what creativity is all about….possibilities and connections.

2. The Chaos is creativity in action.  I would go as far to say that if you are not experiencing creative chaos you are not flowing in the creative process.  That’s right.  It’s not even creativity.

3. Chaos is your friend.  Let’s say you are mixing paint for the perfect red for that Picasso inspired painting but it just keeps coming up all wrong.  You have been after that perfect red paint for two hours.  You can become frustrated and cranky or you can embrace the chaos and remember what Picasso said “When I haven’t any red I use blue” and then wow you already have the perfect blue and it just glides on the canvas like it was always meant to be there.  Yep, Chaos did that!

So, the next time you set out to use your creative magical powers….plan for a little chaos.  Just knowing it will happen takes the pressure off and allows you to get into the creative flow.
Play Well!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Mind Maps

One of my very favorite tools to use in my coaching practice is MIND MAPS.  I love them!  A mind map can help a client visualize where they need to go and how to get there.  A mind map is a diagram that visually organizes thoughts.  A goal or concept is placed in the middle of the page and words or images are added around the original concept.

Anyone can create a mind map.  You can draw your own and use images from magazines or you can use mind mapping software to create a mind map.  Two of my favorite mind mapping software programs are Popplet and iThoughts.

So, why in the world would one want to create a mind map?  Mind maps tap into our visual and creative side.  All too often plans are written with just words.  Because mind maps use words and creativity they open us to new connections and thoughts.  I like use mind maps for clients who are working on a goal.  I ask them to write the goal in the middle of the page.  For example, A New Job.  Then I ask them to write every idea or image that pops into their head.  Before long we have a mind map!  From there together we figure out what “lights up” for the client and we create action steps.  It really is a wonderful tool that can help you get on track.  

So, if you have never tired mind mapping give it a try the next time you have a project.